Monday, September 21, 2009

Top 5 Celebrities with no Ass

In the picture above is the champion of ass, Kim Kardashian. That’s a perfect ass, and it’s hard too come by.

But today I’m gonna talk about the half-ass celebrities or better yet the no-ass females in Hollywood. A woman must have curves in the right places and one of those places is the ass. The ass is the most appealing body part in a woman as far as I’m concern.  Next I’m gonna review the top 5 celebrities with a bony ass. Most of them use covert tactics to hide their ass from the flashes of the paparazzi. I’m gonna expose their emaciated asses in all their gauntness.

5. Shitney Smears. Her pelvis is too wide and flat. Ass is not curvy at all. She never had a great ass. Now it’s a haggard ass. Not only she has an emaciated ass but is a tired ass. An ass should be at least firm. I bet all she does is sit on her ass and smoke cigarettes when she’s not lip syncing. An ass must be worked hard in order to have that bubble look that men appreciate.

4. Cameron Diaz. Now she’s been fucking a lot of dudes but still has no ass, her ass has an odd look, actually it doesn’t look like an ass at all it looks like a vagina on her lower back. But I’m sure she’s a nice person.

3. Gisele Bundchen I don’t know what people see in her.  She looks like a man, her long legs stop somewhere in her lower abdomen without any clue that an ass is present, there’s nothing sexy about her. Might as well put Michael Phelps in a dress looks exactly like her.  I think she could be a tranny.

2. Madonna. Everything Madonna does on stage is a distraction from the fact that shes ass-les. Also she has an unibrow. You can pluck a unibrow but you can’t pluck a new ass.

1. Angelina Jolie is the Queen of no ass. She’s in a league of her own. Her ass is nowhere to be seen. You might say that she compensates in lip power. The lips take all the attention off her haggard ass. But is not enough. There is no substitute for a nice ass. No matter how big your lips are. You can’t do a booty clap with your lips and call it a lip clap.

So there you have it. It’s a shame that so many celebrities chose to inflate their lips and make their lips bigger when they should be focusing on their ass instead, and inflate the ass. The ass is much more important than lips in terms of sex-appeal.

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